The First Year

Ansley Jane just turned one! Where did the time go? We celebrated by throwing her a Sesame Street themed birthday party and she loved every minute of it. I have never seen a child so excited about toys (and boxes and wrapping paper and bags!). She liked her baby doll best, and immediately smothered it in hugs and kisses.

I have had some time to reflect on the year. While it has been the very best, rewarding, and heart-filling year ever, it has also been the most difficult. I have struggled, cried, made mistakes, and worried. Sometimes I had to learn to be "mom" first, and "OT" second. There are a few things that I wish I knew (or truly understood/believed) about having your first baby.

1. You are not a perfect human being, and that is OK. I occasionally felt like a bad mom or a failure, because I opted for the "easy" way, needed a break, or made a mistake. Just remember, that you are your biggest judge. I try my best [most] days, but there are days that I need to do what is best for my own sanity. For example, I will let Ansley watch Sesame Street if it means that I can get something accomplished while Elmo entertains her. I have let housework go (and go and go). I have also accidentally left diapers on a little too long, forgot to breastfeed every 2-3 hours, fell asleep while holding the baby, ran out of diapers, and even dropped a phone on my newborn. On a couple of occasions, Ansley was inconsolable and I was at my wits end. I had to leave her alone in her crib crying I took some deep breaths in my own room. For the first 4 months of Ansley's life, she slept in her Mamaroo, because she struggled to sleep in her crib due to reflux. The mommy and occupational therapist in me was embarrassed and frustrated.

Don't make my "mistake" of thinking these simple accidents or choices make you a bad mom. All you need to do is love your child, and show them that day in and day out. Treat them like a person, not a belonging. The health of your child and YOU is most important, which includes your mental and emotional well-being! Your housework can always wait until tomorrow. You will never be a perfect human being, but you sure as heck can be the perfect mom or dad for your child.

2. Every child's development is different. Do not spend time comparing your child to everyone else's or fretting too much over the age norms for developmental milestones. Ansley consistently hit developmental norms on time, and I really only know this because I am familiar with these norms as an OT. However, I had a number of mommy friends ask for my opinion or advice regarding their child that they felt was "behind". These well-meaning mommies usually knew of a child that had already achieved a particular milestone. 99% of the time, their child was also typically developing, and merely learning skills at his/her own rate. My own irrational fears regarding development likely stem from working with children that have various special needs. For example, I worried that my daughter was tongue tied or would have speech difficulties due to trouble latching as a newborn. At one year, Ansley is saying 30+ words, and her language is actually further ahead than her motor-based skills! She showed me :).

3. Breastfeeding can be incredibly hard. The majority of my tears cried this past year, were in the first month and related entirely to breastfeeding. My sweet Ansley Jane had difficulty latching and our pediatrician was concerned about her weight. I was forced to supplement with formula that she took from a small cup or syringe, and eventually a special needs feeder (bottle). In the meantime, I spent a great deal of time pumping and storing my milk, as well as dealing with two rounds of mastitis (breast infection). Mastitis was not only incredibly painful, but Ansley could not get milk from the breast. After almost two month, we both finally got the hang of breastfeeding, but I was VERY close to giving up. I do not blame those that do give up. I also completely understand why some parents prefer to use formula from the start. Breastfeeding can be so frustrating, painful, time-consuming, and heartbreaking. Do what works best for you and your family!

4. Ask for help. These three simple words are so difficult for me to actually carryout. A little help went a long way this past year by making me feel less anxious about my to-do list and helping to lift my spirits!

5. Get out of the house a couple of times a week. If you have a significant other, family member, or babysitter available, take advantage of it from time to time. Go shopping, have a girls' or guys' night, pamper yourself, work part-time, exercise, or even head out of town on a mini-vacation! After having a little "break", I usually feel like a whole new person, with the strength and energy to take on the week (or at least the next couple of days).

6. Put away your phone. While you are playing and interacting with your baby, try to put your various devices away. For one, it takes your attention away from your child. Also, it quickly teaches your baby that your smart phone or tablet is the coolest "toy" in the room. Babies and toddlers do not need screen time. Guilty, but I am trying...

7. Take plenty of videos and pictures. Ignore the people that advise you not to "watch your child grow through a camera lens". That won't happen. I also doubt you will regret having snapped too many pictures of your child. What is more likely, is that you will wish you took more. Most days, I did not take a single picture of Ansley. I really regret this. I wish I would have documented more of Ansley's first year, especially using videos. I cherish the few videos I have and am always amazed by how much she has changed and developed in such a short period of time.

8. Everyone has an opinion, but you usually know best. Don't get me wrong, another person's recommendations and experiences can be very valuable. However, I have felt attacked a number of times throughout pregnancy and Ansley's first year when my beliefs or decisions were challenged. One thing is for sure, your loving family and friends truly have your best interest and will not hesitate to gift you with their "expert knowledge". Unfortunately, these individuals can also be misinformed about the latest research, the needs of your child, your preferred parenting style, etc. You live and care for your child 24/7 and know him/her better than anyone. Do your own research. Make informed decisions with your spouse. Don't let others make you feel small or guilty about decisions you have made in the best interest of your child (and family).

I am beyond excited for this coming year. I cannot wait for more adventures with Ansley Jane and to watch her grow. Of course, I plan to grow and learn as I go along as well.

Peace Love and OT
Kaylie Stearns- Pediatric OT and Mommy
Sensational Steps Therapy, Inc.

Baby's First Toys- An OT's Top 10 Recommendations

My daughter is the first grandchild on both sides of the family. As you can imagine, she was downright spoiled on Christmas. As an OT mommy, I bought (or put on the “baby’s” wish-list) a few handmade wooden chew toys, indestructible books, a soft drum, a tambourine, a rattle/maracas, a fisher-price piano, stacking cups, and simple puzzles. I also snatched up a Love to Play Puppy when there was a good sale, and got her a play cellphone (I know, I know). She is obsessed with little devices with buttons, so I opted for a leapfrog cellphone to satisfy her desire to munch on mommy’s phone and expertly delete applications. She is not yet able to push the buttons on her toy phone, so she could really take it or leave it. She knows the good stuff, and continues to go after phones, remote controls, computer mouses (mice?), etc.

Of course, our home still resembled an electronic and battery-powered Whoville when loving family and friends bought our daughter the newest, coolest, smartest toys on the block for Christmas. While she does love these toys, we tend to limit her time with them (perhaps for our own sanity). Her favorite toys truly seem to be the most simple toys or objects, AND they promote fun social interactions and creativity for the whole family!

My recommendations for a baby’s first toys are those toys that are relatively simple and cheap, have multiple functions, stimulate the senses while also encouraging motor development, and are useful for a number of months.

Here is my Top 10 list for First Baby Toys:

1. Baby Gym (floor mat) and Hanging-Toys- A newborn will enjoy lying on the floor mat, looking at the high contrast toys dangling within a foot of his/her face. Before babies can grasp items, it is important that they are working on the skill of reaching. They can reach, bat at, and kick these "hanging toys". The movement of the toys provide increased visual and auditory stimulation. A floor gym gives a baby the ability to use and move their entire body, encouraging the developmental skills of head control, reaching and grasping, crossing midline, and rolling. When you do not have a floor gym, "hanging toys" are still great to have on a bouncer, car seat, or stroller.

Some examples of hanging toys: Here, here, and here!

2. Plastic Links- Going along with the baby gym and hanging toys, invest in a set of links as well. I would highly suggest getting rings that are oblong to prevent your baby from tearing the ring (and toy) right off and onto their head. We learned the hard way. Here are my favorite hanging links. I also love that you can keep all of the links on a ring making it a fun rattle or chew toy. The various textures are great for tactile and oral sensory exploration!

3. Wood Teething Keys- I bought a few organic wood teethers from Little Adventure Toys this holiday season. Each toy is handmade, adorable, safe, and totally fun. My daughter loves her wooden car keys best. They are a great size to grasp and munch on, and offer texture for her gums and tongue to explore. The rope holding the keys together allows a baby to easily shake the set of keys like a rattle or bang them around. They make a nice noise as they thunk together. We have also used the keys as a "hanging toy" or attached then to her equipment with plastic links. All of the toys from Little Adventure are very easy to grasp and clearly delicious to teeth!

4. Indestructible and board books- 

I discovered Indestructible Books at a local baby boutique and was excited to find they are also available on amazon. My daughter loves books, but will rip them to pieces (and eat them). Indestructible Books cannot be ripped or eaten (phew), and they are also bright and fun. Many books are based on nursery rhymes or songs, so warm up your vocal chords mom and dad. Eventually, your baby will work on turning the pages independently!

Fabric books are also great fun, especially those that make crispy, crunchy noises. There are many options out there, but our favorite is a soft, teether book of, The Very Hungry Caterpillar. The book has pages that crinkle and squeak, a mirror, a teething spine, and dangling shapes to grab and eat.

Board books are wonderful for propping up during the early months of tummy time. High contrast pages will encourage the baby to pull their head up off of the ground, turn their head side to side, as well as visually scan and attend to the pictures. While reading with your baby, board books are ideal, because the pages cannot be crumpled and ripped while you read. The pages are thick and sturdy, which is great for page banging, hand-over-hand page turning, and some slobber. Beware, a few minutes alone with a board book, and your baby will have successfully drenched the book and eaten the corners.

5. Stacking cups- They are simple, cheap, colorful, and have endless uses. Young babies can reach, grasp, hold, and bang the cups. They will also learn to knock down a tower you build for them. Eventually, they will learn how to build a tower, combine the cups (clean up), talk into the cups and see how your voice sounds, hide items under the cups, pretend to drink, use the cup as a drum, or put the cup on their head and send it flying with an, "Ahhh CHOO!".

6. Small Teething Blanket- I feel that the best teething blankets are those that have tabs sewn in or chewable corners. I do NOT prefer the blankets that have noise makers, have toys hanging off them, or have anything hard on them. Wouldn't you want your blanket to be soft and cuddly too? I love that these small blankets are both my daughter's lovey, and also her chew toy. Now that she is understanding the concept of object permanence, we are also playing a lot of hide and seek. The small blankets are a great size/weight for her to manipulate and pull off of her own head. Here are some of my recommendations:

Cute As A Button

Organic Farm Buddies

7. Rattle Toys/Teethers- Rattles are fun musical toys to help a baby develop their grasp and learn to make noise by shaking and banging them. When

someone else moves the rattle, the baby is developing their ability to localize sound and visually track and attend. Added sensory experiences/bonuses are when the rattles are brightly colored, you can see the contents of the rattle moving around, when the rattles make different noises, and when the rattles have textures. My daughter's first toy that she held, manipulated, brought to her mouth, and purposefully made noises with, was her Hungry Caterpillar Teether Rattle. Other rattle options are: Here, here, and here! 

8. Soft Balls (that make noise)- There is no denying it, babies LOVE balls (as do many children young and old)! My daughter's first balls included the Soft Ball and the Oball.  The Soft Ball is a medium-sized ball that takes up her lap. It has helped her work on bilateral grasping, symmetrical movements, and midline play. She has also learned how to hold the ball between her legs like a monkey, while her hands find something better to do. A smaller ball, such as the Oball, is easy to grasp with one hand and babies can work on transferring the ball between their hands. The Oball is also great for gnawing, shaking as a rattle, and bouncing. Having a ball with a rattle inside (like the Oball) or a bell (like the Soft Ball), makes playing ball that much more enjoyable and stimulating. Babies will be very motivated to figure out how to move and shake the ball, toss it, and roll it around the floor. Eventually, balls encourage reciprocal play when rolled back and forth with others. 

Soft Ball

Oball

9.Mirror- An unbreakable mirror is great to have early on when your baby is working on tummy time. A propped up mirror could be an intriguing distraction or fun motivator. As your baby gets a little older, they will begin to develop a sense of self and will be extremely interested in their own reflection. My own daughter spends a lot of time kissing herself (slobbers), smiling and laughing, and making faces. Babies can learn to develop social-emotional skills this way. 

10. Fisher-Price Piano- My daughter LOVES this toy and already thinks she is a rock star. At 6 months, when she received the piano, she was at the perfect age to beat the heck out of it. It helps to teach her cause and effect and sound discrimination. She also loves to use various objects, like her wooden teethers, to bang on the piano and xylophone keys. She is learning to use her two hands at different times, and eventually will be able to practice simple rhythms and imitation on it. You can buy it at many large stores or here on amazon.


I hope you found this list helpful. Babies learn through play, and it is their most important occupation at this young age. The simplest toys can still encourage motor, sensory, and social-emotional development. Many of these toys also encourage family to get involved. Your baby will enjoy playing with you, learn from observation, and begin developing an understanding of reciprocal play. Not to mention, you will cherish this time as well. I would love to hear your thoughts and what toys you have in your top 10!

Peace Love and OT
Kaylie Stearns- Pediatric OT and Mommy
Sensational Steps Therapy, Inc.

Snow Day Fun

Brrrr... It is cold out there. The weather just reported that temperatures feel like -8 degrees F. The wind is howling and snow drifts are above my knees. I recently moved back to my hometown in Michigan after spending 4 years in Atlanta, GA. It is days like today that make me ask, "Why?!" (with chattering teeth).

We have had 2 consecutive snow days here and now it is the weekend. I have seen a number of people with children already struggling with cabin fever on social media. So, what do you do when you are snowed in with antsy kids? With the current temps and wind, I would not advise any parent to send their child outside. However, there are many simple and fun activities to do with your children indoors.

1. Paper Snowflakes- This is a good fine motor activity to develop scissor skills. Folding paper and cutting along lines are both wonderful visual-motor challenges. Make sure to decorate each flake!

2. Homemade snow- Here are some different ways to make snow. They are all fun for your fingers (tactile sensory exploration)!

• Option 1: Mix 1/2 cup hair conditioner with 3 cups of baking soda
• Option 2: Mix some water into a bowl of baking soda with your hands until you get the desired consistency. Put plastic wrap or aluminum foil over the bowl and put it into the refrigerator for 5-10 minutes to make it cold.
• Option 3: Microwave a bar of ivory soap for 1 1/2 minutes. This is a fun science experiment. Watch the bar of soap expand in the microwave. When you take it out, you can crumple the soap up into a bowl.

3. Snowman shooters- These snowman shooters are made by cutting a hole in the bottom of a foam cup and gluing a balloon around the bottom. Cut the opening of the balloon off, to make the opening big enough to go around the cup. Have fun decorating your cup. Use cotton balls for snow and your snowman cup to shoot them around the room (just pull back on the balloon). Try to shoot your cottonball into another person's snowman cup!

Refer to the blog Growing A Jeweled Rose for additional pictures and information.



4. Snowman snack/art- For a fun, healthy, interactive snack, consider making these delicious snowmen. Get a large toothpick or kabab stick, cut up thicker pieces of banana, and find some yummy ingredients to finish off your treat. Get creative!

Seen here, Happy Home Fairy used apples and berries to make the snowman hats, pretzel sticks for the arms, mini chocolate morsels for the buttons and eyes, and small pieces of carrot for the nose.




5. Indoor "Snow" Fort- Make the biggest, baddest fort of all time! Use your blankets, sheets, pillows, chairs, and tables. Create secret passage ways, make bedrooms, have a place for your dog to sleep, incorporate a radio and have a dance party on your knees, eat your snowman snack inside, take naps in there, and so on and so forth. This will take up a lot of time, get the kids moving and using their muscles, allow a lot of creativity, and they will be SO PROUD of the end result. Not to mention, it will soon be the coziest place in the house. That is exactly what you need on a cold, winter day!


Of course, this is just a small list of activities. I wanted to touch on fine and visual motor, gross motor, and sensory-based activities. I would love to hear or see how you spent your snow day and weekend! Stay warm :).

Peace Love and OT

Kaylie Stearns
Pediatric OT and Mommy